the human, not the dog
Dog Training Starts With the Human—Not the Dog
Before techniques.
Before drills.
Before obedience.
Dog training starts with the emotional state of the human.
No matter what a dog is presenting—reactivity, fear, aggression, shutdown, or overexcitement—the strongest influence is what the person brings into the picture. That doesn’t mean people are doing something wrong. It means something important often goes unseen.
The Part of Training Most People Aren’t Taught
Many people care deeply about their dogs. They’re invested. They’re trying. And yet, things still aren’t working.
This is where frustration sets in.
When someone believes “this dog saved my life,” rules start to feel unkind. Follow-through feels harsh. Structure feels like punishment. Decisions are filtered through emotion instead of clarity.
When someone believes “this dog was rescued and had a hard past,” the same pattern shows up. Sympathy quietly replaces leadership. Guilt replaces consistency. The dog is given unlimited freedom with no accountability, and the human avoids stepping in because they’re afraid of doing more damage.
The person hesitates, not because they don’t care—but because they care a lot.
In both cases, the intention is good.
The outcome, however, is the same.
The dog is left without clarity.
Dogs don’t need emotional stories.
They need clear direction and leadership from who they can trust.
What Dogs Pick Up Without a Word Being Said
Dogs read emotional state with precision. Fear, guilt, doubt, hesitation, overprotectiveness, and low self-confidence don’t stay internal—they’re communicated constantly.
When a person doesn’t fully trust their decisions or is afraid of being “too much,” the dog feels that uncertainty. Emotional inconsistency creates confusion, and confusion often turns into behavior problems.
What gets labeled as “the dog’s issue” is very often a response to emotional noise coming from the human side.
This isn’t blame.
It’s awareness.
Why This Comes Before Any Technique
You can practice drills.
You can repeat commands.
You can attend classes.
But none of it holds if the emotional foundation isn’t steady.
Two things determine training success before anything else:
The emotional state of the human
Leadership through consistency and follow-through
That means looking at:
Expectations
Fears
Past experiences
Self-confidence
Personal boundaries
How pressure and stress are handled
When these pieces aren’t acknowledged, training becomes situational. It may work sometimes, in some places—but it doesn’t last.
Why I Teach People First
We’re all human. We bring history, feelings, beliefs, and habits into everything we do—including how we handle dogs.
Ignoring those things doesn’t make them disappear. They show up in behavior instead.
Being honest about how you feel doesn’t make you weak. It gives you a place to grow from. When people learn to regulate themselves, step into calm authority, and follow through without guilt, dogs respond clearly and quickly.
Leadership isn’t about being harsh.
It’s about being steady, trustworthy, and capable.
“Why Does My Dog Prefer My Partner?”
This question comes up all the time.
One person feeds the dog, walks the dog, trains the dog, cleans up after the dog, and carries the responsibility. The other does very little—yet the dog seeks them out and follows them everywhere.
People take this personally.
They feel hurt.
They feel unappreciated.
They feel rejected.
That reaction makes sense—but it’s human emotion, not dog behavior.
Dogs Don’t Measure Effort the Way Humans Do
Dogs don’t respond to who does the most. They respond to emotional clarity, predictability, and leadership.
The person doing everything is often emotionally invested, frustrated, or trying hard to earn engagement. There’s pressure in that—even with good intentions.
The partner doing “nothing” is often calmer, neutral, and emotionally uncomplicated. No expectations. No emotional pull. That steadiness is easy for a dog to follow.
This isn’t favoritism.
It isn’t affection.
It isn’t loyalty.
It’s response to clarity.
Where Humans Misinterpret the Situation
Humans expect emotional return. When it doesn’t happen, disappointment creeps in. That disappointment changes tone, energy, and presence—none of which help communication or leadership.
The dog isn’t withholding.
The dog isn’t choosing sides.
The dog isn’t making a statement.
The dog is responding to the emotional environment.
What feels like rejection is simply the dog moving toward the clearest presence in the room.
Leadership Always Outperforms Emotion
When people lead from emotional need—needing the dog to engage, respond, or reassure—they unintentionally create pressure. Dogs either avoid that pressure or become unsettled by it.
When people lead from a grounded, confident place with no emotional pull, dogs engage willingly.
That’s why:
Leadership beats effort
Calm beats intensity
Consistency beats emotion
How Self-Perception Shows Up in Behavior
This pattern isn’t unique to dogs. Humans do this with each other every day.
A person who lacks self-confidence may stay in unhealthy relationships—not because they want that life, but because their internal state tells them that’s what they deserve.
Dogs respond to that same internal state.
When a person carries guilt, insecurity, or fear of doing the wrong thing, boundaries disappear. Rules feel cruel. Follow-through feels unsafe.
Common thoughts sound like:
“I don’t want to upset him.”
“He’s been through enough.”
“I don’t want him to hate me.”
“I might make things worse.”
What the dog sees isn’t kindness.
The dog sees uncertainty.
What Dogs Do With Uncertainty
Dogs don’t respond to sympathy.
They respond to stability.
When leadership is unclear, dogs step into the gap. That can show up as:
Ignoring direction
Pushing boundaries
Guarding space or resources
Showing teeth
Snapping
Taking control of situations
What gets labeled as aggression is often a dog responding to a lack of direction.
The dog isn’t being bad.
The dog is responding to a vacuum.
This Is About Strength, Not Harshness
Leadership isn’t punishment. It’s emotional strength.
If a person doesn’t trust themselves, the dog won’t either. Dogs read that immediately.
Confidence isn’t loud.
It’s steady.
It’s decisive.
It’s consistent.
If a human carries themselves as uncertain, the dog treats them accordingly. Not because the dog is dominant—but because the dog is responsive.
Dogs don’t need to be protected from structure.
They need someone solid enough to provide it.
Final Thought
You can’t train over insecurity.
You can’t drill confidence into a dog when it’s missing in the handler.
And you can’t correct behavior without addressing what’s underneath it.
Training doesn’t start with the dog.
It starts with the human being willing to look at themselves—without shame.
When that happens, behavior changes.
Not because the dog was fixed—but because leadership finally showed up.
That’s the foundation I train from.
If this resonates, if you’re feeling stuck or unsure how to move forward, I’m here to help you sort through it and build a clear plan that actually works.
You don’t need to try harder.
You need clarity—and that can be taught.
Click the link and book an evaluation to get started.
-Angie
Contact
Questions about what your dog is saying to you in certain situations or just about your dog’s behaviour?
Reach out to angie@royalk9.ca Angie’s always happy to help guide you in the right direction.
